The Mistakes

I tend to overthink things. A tiny mistake, an unintended offensive word - the scene rewinds again and again in my mind, and usually insomnia ensues. I always mull over details like what and how I should have done, although the scenario has already ended eons ago. This is a bad thing, I know. But I could not end this nightmare.

I try to write down my mistakes, but this action makes me contemplate over it even more. Concentrate on positive things? Of little avail. The moment I relax, the scene in which I have erred keep coming back to haunt me like a ghost. I tell myself, I will do better next time. But the scene will again, rewind and I will come to the same conclusion that I will achieve a better result next time. And it repeats again, I keep thinking the same thing over and over, until my body pass out from exhaustion.

Am I alright? I'm not, if I fail the test, I'm not, if I mess up the performance, I'm not, if I am told to make a hard choice. I am fed up with it. Some people can sleep soundly even if they have not completed their project that is due tomorrow. But I couldn't, I fret over even the smallest things.

This has gone disastrously awry. I cannot continue living like this, getting all jittery about nonsensical details.

But what should I do? I am lost.

Then I decide that I should talk to my best friend. She is a gracious and wise girl.

Who doesn't make a mistake? To err is human, so if you make a mistake, accept it and learn from it.

Now I feel better. I no longer feel that much guilt anymore. Although sometimes I still go through some episodes of the scary nightmare, I am no longer the same me. I will accept the past with welcomed hands.

Although I still overthink matters.

But I am no longer afraid of the mistakes I have made. But instead, I accept them as a part of myself.